Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Conversation between Gandhi and Boehner

[On the eve of Mohandas Gandhi's 144th. birthday, the following is a hypothetical conversation between Gandhiji (MG) and Boehner (JB). Note that Gandhiji was often endearingly referred to as Bapu or "Father"]

MG: You know John, I am going on a fast-until-death to protest against this move of yours to shut down the Government and hold the country ransom.

JB: Bapu, please don't do this. You are being swayed by Democratic propaganda in saying that we are holding the country ransom. Wait a minute, I thought your platform for non-violent protest was only in situations of war, terror and tyranny. None of these are applicable in our current situation.

MG: You obviously are unaware of the Dandi March to protest against Salt Tax by the British Government. There too, my goal was to drive sense into the British Government that they cannot levy high taxes on Salt. In a similar vein, you cannot shut down the Government just because you do not like the Affordable Health Care Act.

JB: Bapu, I am going to let you in on a secret. We (the GOP) cannot think of any other way to stop Obamacare. If we allow this to move forward, it will doom our party. You see, numerous Presidents in the past have tried to enact "Affordable Health Care" into law. They have all been foiled thanks to partisan politics. This one "slipped through".

MG: Why is that a bad thing. I was reading an article in NYT that this will benefit a large cross section of people.

JB: You are so wet behind the ears when it comes to politics, Bapu. If Obamacare becomes popular, that would shut the GOP from the White House for at least the next 12 years. We are grooming Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio as candidates for the 2016 elections. We want them to have a fighting chance to win. We have to stop this one way or the other. It is unfortunate that it came down to our final option - to shutdown Government.

MG: Well! you have deal with me now and my fast-until-death if you do move forward with your I-will-because-I-can plan to shut down the Government.

JB: You are overestimating our sensitivity to your "threats", Bapu. Right now, all our focus is on the 2016 elections.

MG: Once again, you are demonstrating your short-sightedness, John. It is not "your sensitivity" that is  "under the gun" when I proceed with the fast. This fast is likely to gain the nationwide interest. I heard that CNN will be covering it live.

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